i swear!!! i want to throw that scale against a freakin’ wall! i guess it’s good that i didn’t gain…but really? one fifty freaking one again. am i ever going to see the 140s again? EVER?!!?!?! I think my problem is that i don’t eat enough, honestly, and it was hard for me to be that honest with myself. on the days that i’m “good” i’ll work out twice a day for a total of 2ish hours, but i’ll only allow myself to eat 1200 or so calories. i suppose my body needs more fuel. time to up the protein in take. geez. i want to give up. i want to hate myself, but i won’t and i can’t. you have to love your body if you want to change it. if you don’t, it will just retaliate against you. love love love me. hate hate hate the number on the scale. damnit.